A couple of working couples with 11 (gold) and 8-year-old siblings have found Channel A <My little brother like Parenting Gold> these days. They appeared in the studio without holding hands, unlike the other cast members, but they did not seem to be simply ashamed or embarrassed, giving the impression that the couple had been cut off. The biggest concern of the gold side was that the gold side refused to shoot for three years. Why would the gold side not go to school?
When she came up to ask him what he was doing, he said, “Don’t worry about it.” He said he would take care of himself. I was sick when I told her to eat, and the relationship between her and her was strange. Just before she was ready and schooling, the row broke out when her mother touched the gold bag on the bed.
Her mother’s mind burned as she looked at the gold side, and as she went out to school her sister first, she talked to her grandmother on the veranda and cried out. (Golden was released three years ago, and before that, she was mainly responsible for the parenting of the gold.) When she returned, she was angry that everything was her fault. Resentment and Furious continued: It was a routine that was repeated every day for three years.
The gold was diagnosed with ADHD, colic, and obsessive-compulsive disorder. He is constantly treating medication and is strangely responding to his mother. Recently, I received a new diagnosis of 'child depression' and was looking for treatment in various directions. Oh Eun Young Doctorate diagnosed that the gold side is right for 'contaminated obsession' (contaminated obsession has been covered on 72 episodes).
Schools are public spaces, and there are many factors that are unsettling about pollutants such as Covid19, which was the worst environment for gold with pollution obsession. But although pollution obsession was the main cause, it was necessary to analyze it comprehensively, but the gold side acted as if there was no compulsion to pollution outside the house. I held hands with Friend, and went to ride the 'Disco Pang' and grabbed the iron rod casually.
"I want to change my mom."
The gold man, who had been talking to Friend, said a shocking remark, saying that he did not want his mother to come into his room or to touch him. Why on earth did he hate her? She said it seemed to be dirty when she touched it. It was about her heart breaking down, but she had heard so much of it that she accepted it.
Oh Eun Young continued to explain that if there is a pollution obsession in general, the symptoms worsen outside, but there are exceptions. OCD is an obsessive behavior that is not digestive of your inner feelings, so when you contact someone you don’t like, your symptoms get worse, but your contact with someone you like is good. In fact, he was comfortable with his father. He was playing with him and looking good.
A moment later, the goldhead was furiously glowing for her hand on her laundry, and as she approached, she hurried away and fled to the retroom, screaming and crying. She couldn’t do this or that. She sent her grandmother a katok to tell her what was going on. It was a shocking story about (the mother) being killed, saying she didn’t want to live with her mother.
On the other hand, Oh Eun Young asked about the marital relationship: they met and did not even say hello; the relationship deepened as the gold side deepened the conflict over the problem. The conversation only kept the parallel. My father was dissatisfied with her passive attitude. He felt like he didn’t burn everything for her. It was frustrating not to do the assignments the counselor had presented. Dad spoke to her with sharp words.
Oh Eun Young emphasized that 'the more important thing to do to a child is not to act harmlessly'. He explained that his mother's actions are not harmful to the child, even though they are not the mother (the prize) that his father or grandmother wants. But she pointed out that there is an atmosphere in which all the mistakes are made to her mother, and that the situation is uncomfortable. She has a part to fix, but she can not turn all the causes to her mother.
After experiencing two miscarriages, including the sudden loss of a child she had in her stomach for six months, her grief seemed to have become part of her life. When asked if they had shared their pain, she said, “No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Oh Eun Young felt sorry for her, saying she thought she needed help. What she needed was comfort and recovery.
My father confessed that it was harder than I thought that there was no emotional exchange during my 14-year marriage. He said he had not been sympathetic to good things or hard work, and that he had always been lonely with him, saying that he had always had a dull answer. But Oh Eun Young’s idea was different: he thought that from his mother’s point of view, Husband was not sharing feelings either.
Oh Eun Young noted that dad is only giving mom an active Mission, but there are two big obstacles to it. For one thing, the gold side reacted hostilely to her mother. The second was her inactive temperament. So she always became an incompetent mother who failed the Mission that Husband and counselors gave her.
She had no place to stand, where she had been in ten months of hate for herself, and she had shrunk so much that she could not say that the method did not fit her. That’s why I was so consistent with “I don’t know.” The conclusion of all the problems was attributed to the lack of love from my mother, who was branded a mother who lacked motherhood because of her poor expression. Oh Eun Young comforted her mother that it must have been hard enough to die.
In the evening, a critical scene was captured: Grandma ran in at the request of the gold side, and while everyone was having a good meal, her mother was treated like The Invisible Man. She was excluded from the conversation, and when she was away for a while, the family talked about her back. After she returned, she went out of the house crying and crying with her mother. I took her hand and let go.
What is the real heart of the gold side? Oh Eun Young described it as a 'confused attachment'. When I got close, I thought I wouldn’t be safe (safety), and when I got away, I was confused by the two lonely and anxious (lovely) desires. Above all, the problem was that there was a balance of power in the family. Oh Eun Young analyzed that it appeals to the fact that it is one with grandmother and father by actively expressing that the gold does not like mother.
The gold man, who had heard negative stories about his mother in his daily life, felt it safe to be angry with her, a kind of survival logic, and had to hate her for his own safety. That was why he could not clarify why he hated his mother. Oh Eun Young emphasized that it is necessary to change all communication methods in the family and to realize that it is 'one' that does not need to share the family side.
The gold man, who had refused to tell her what she was doing, told her that she and her father were too scared when they were young, and that she was not there for work. Perhaps it was intended to fix the pollution obsession, but it was likely that he had been disciplined. From the point of view, the way of his father's discipline, which was scary, seemed to remain vivid in his mind.
"It's going to be trial and error; don't be too afraid; just because you've twisted it once today doesn't ruin your child's life." (Oh Eun Young)
Oh Eun Young was concerned, and he was not sure that his family would follow the "gold prescription" well in the situation that he did not like his mother even if his marriage was not good and his gold was not good. Fortunately, however, Mom and Dad were full of will; relieved to see the figure, Oh Eun Young suggested 'shorting down family streets' with a gold prescription. I tried various efforts and waited until the gold side opened my mind, but the gold side rarely came.
The problem was that the gold side was judging and pushing her badly with dichotomy logic, and the disadvantages of her grandmother and her father were deeply embedded in her mind. Oh Eun Young met with his father separately and urged him to actively help his mom's efforts reach the gold side. He went to find her strengths with the gold side. I went to every corner of my life to find the merits of Amma.
Meanwhile, she studied pollution obsessions for her gold, and she worked on emotional expression exercises every day. She continued to practice conversations. At first, the gold side, which had been far away, came closer and began to participate. They smiled, and then tried to get closer. Her face brightened.
The 74th broadcast (November 19) had many thoughts: the social atmosphere of forcing motherhood, shaped by a specific image, was uncomfortable. I wonder if we should accept that there are various forms of maternal love as there are various people, and the mother rejection caused by the imbalance of power in the family was also uncomfortable. I was really grateful that she had stayed so well without collapsing. I’m cheering for the laugh to continue.